Beat Psychology

my first set of acrylic nails!

2010-07-12T00:38:00.003+08:00

i initially wanted a set of bling bling bling! but then after ploughing through 3-4 nail magazines, i thought... why not do something different and something more than just sticking crystals?!?! so tada!! i love it!

pastel flowers, super cute rabbit and a pretty bouquet!!

pretty nails to go hk with (^_^)

Abuse...it can happen to anyone.

2010-07-04T01:57:00.007+08:00

Gosh! Its been too long...Thank you for being here, my long forgotten haven....
I need to have this experience written down, for this was an experience I never, in my wildest dreams, thought would have happened to me...I must remember and learn well. I was abused, and this scar inflicted will remind me to be strong.

I no longer hate. Its been a month since and I am writing on hindsight.

To begin in short summary, I've left SSB, visited CS (for a mth to be exact) and now hopeful to move on to a new and better environment.

See SSB was my comfort zone. Much like home, almost, just that besides my best of girlies whom i've travelled, bitched, troubled ... blahs... there were also uppers, and comrades that I had to face. I'm pretty done with tolerating them and the boredom of work.
But it was this decision to leave that made me realise how wonderful it was to have them!!! No seriously, my ex boss, she's older and single and powerless but soooo much easier to handle.

To everyone I say that I made a leap of faith into an entirely new environment. Ok...so I crashed head down into a work shift that starts from 4pm to 2am, endured the pain of travelling to changi business park (CBP), as well as suffer gastric and sleepless nights for my body ain't recognising the sudden changes in my already routine-ed life. This was just the beginning...then came along the people i met. Young! not so vibrant because it's kinda hard when it's that hour and seriously, CBP is a capsule of its own in oh so tiny spore....oh and thus definitely cranky people.
I was sent to a team where the team mates were a bunch of nice and courteous peeps. Very helpful, sometimes playful...but then it was the work that I wasn't enjoying really...I was bored. So by a stroke of fate and luck, I was given a chance to enter another team within the department. During the interview process I mentioned that I very much want to enter the options team however that didn't happen as they deem my lack of experience unsuitable. But, at that point in tiem they were in desperate need of people (As there was a mass exodus of people in that team, and we all know why...) so viola, they remembered i am keen, and so I was in.

The teams sits 2 lanes across from where i was originally. There one cannot help but notice 2 ladies...2 spells trouble double whammy, but I guess in the wee hours of the night I failed to detect trouble. They were just 2metres away from me.

There is a need for character description, but no names shall be mentioned...ET and NT was engraved in the mere hour of meeting and scarred me by the end of 14 days..

ET, She is tall, very tall for a local lady. She wears a permanent scowl. To most everyone she looks down in disdain met with weary eyes. I never found out, but if i may, she is still single and badly needs courtship. I could tell she yearns for some form of male companion as she still bothers to dress up every day despite the hours, dresses and heels to boot. But honestly it doesn't help to tower every single person in the office with 3 inch heels when you are already alot taller than the average guy barefoot.
On the outset, she's not a bad looker. But i am a firm believer that a person is ugly if her character sucks!
oh she was an ex national sailor (who gives the F**K? did i mention ex...)

Her best friend, on the other hand, is petite. She wears a permanent smile and greets everyone with such cheerful eyes that you'll think everyday is a friday! She ain't single for her loverboy's just 4 metres in the radius within the office. So of course she's dressed up too, for someone's looking!
oh yes she is the pet of the vp and also the manager of the options team.

So I was whisked into the team to help tide over the difficult period. It was a terribly steep learning curve for me. I have to learn fast and do fast because there was too few staff left to do too much work. I was finding it hard to pick up as they were speeding along and it didn't help that ET has a huge ass attitude problem!
It was the norm that she shouts at and commands newbies around like dogs. But I was the one whom she threw her calculator and letters at. I wasn't physically hurt...but what was much worse was the mental trauma i am going through.

Also, she slammed her hand on my desk whenever she is frustrated and everytime I try to ask a question, she answers my question with 10 more of her questions, forcing me to answer them all. She just stuffed her boot camp training method down my throat and totally gagged me.
And when I can't answer them questions anymore, more cold stares and more slamming.

I must admit it was very stressful teaching when there's piling work and past work hours...but that doesn't warrant any of the above behaviour. She was just plain rigid and just pushing me to a tiny corner vacuuming out along the way. She was bullying a new comer, She was bullying me.

I was frightened. I was stressed. And my health just deteriorated. My moral went from top to zero to negative.

Work was tough and not easy to pick up, her behaviour only stressed me out further and made me afraid to work. It came to a point where i couldn't eat, and couldn't sleep. i had to drag myself to work. That wasn't work, that was freaking boot camp.

And the NT, the manager wasn't any better really, she appears to be nice, but really, her weapon was sarcasm. I have no idea what she says behind my back. Such is the weariness.
And them being friends, I was defenceless. NT not only not believe me words, she told me to try to accomodate ET. Saying things like "she was an ex national sailor...you should try to compromise and accomodate..."
Accomodate someone who's causing the abuse? hello?! are you listening?
And then I realise that there really isn't any point in that conversation...anymore. I need to get out. It was a huge disappointment. I went through 4 rounds of interview and had so much hope and vigour.

I did try to talk to my colleagues...but I realise they've all been brain washed. They just say "she's like that, live with it". Such was the power of an ex national sailor. She should join the military...make em weak men strong they say!

I constantly ask myself why I didn't stand up against her. She was only 2 yrs my senior at work (She wasn't even team lead for gods sake!) why didn't i stand up against her?

Well I guess I'm not a confrontational person. At that point in time all I could think of is why can't I get these done? why aren't I getting it right? There must be something wrong with me. Little did I realise that when I eventually broke down...it wasn't entirely me...It was inhuman.

Today, when I look back, if i didn't step out of my comfort zone I will never have met them and I will never have found out, it takes all sorts to make this world and i've only met 2 of them.

Honestly I never regretted leaving SSB and I never regretted joining CS.
even before I join, i've heard about how political it is in there, how the HR is really bad...and after I join...well I hear much more.

But there are certain things that you only learn through experience. I learnt to be strong the hard way. I will continue to hone my interpersonal skills. And I will continue to meet more strange and weird people and I must learn to understand and handle them.

We must all learn to stand up for ourself against the odds.

This is my learning experience, it's a pain in the ass but without it I'm a nobody.

Europe 2008

2008-06-15T05:12:00.005+08:00

I STAYED

I PARTIED

I SPLURGED

It was my first back packing trip.
It was my first europe trip.
Its the first time i spent 2 wks away from my loved ones.
It was the first time i got so mad at friends i met only twice.
Its the first time i spent so much.
It was the experience of a lifetime.

24th b'day

2008-05-26T00:38:00.002+08:00

at the rate that you keep pampering me, how am i ever going to keep up!?!?!?!?

oh well, you promised me the cartier love series with the blinks!!!!! wahahaha...

anyway, no matter how lousy my day is or how bad everything turns out to be i can always trust you to make it all seem right again.

thank you so much for everything everything everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after 3 days of celebrating....though it started out pretty bad, things got better eventually and its all your effort! how can i ever do without you?

thank you! for making my birthday so fun and making me feel so special =)

2008-01-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

our 2nd yr anniversay present for each other!! i'm wearing the gold one while he wears the silver one =) tot we'll go for somthing cheaper and more fun this yr...travelled the whole of spore to find this combi....found this pair at parkway!!!

his christmas present to me!!! damn ex lor for something so small ... but its nice =) i love it!!!
now i want my miumiu tote!!!!!!!!

2008-01-07T19:17:00.000+08:00

this is wat i received for christmas from my mentor....damn pressurising lor...got to return something in favour mah....sigh...but i've always liked this design despite the fact that its sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo common.....

2007-08-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

the gals in my new office...havoc bunch of peeps...
my mentor on my left and his best pal on my right! super cute both of them...n stop being gay!!! haha....
cool dude!! seriously cool.....

Tiffany & Co

2007-08-10T20:03:00.000+08:00

I feel spoilt!!!!!!!!

And that feels damn good !!!!!!!!

keep the fire burning

2007-07-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

I want to be someone

someone who sees like a child and gives like a saint
feels like an angel

nevermind the broken wings

speaks like a picture and cries like the rain
shines like a star

as long as the fire remains

LAWRY'S

2007-05-29T20:37:00.000+08:00

i finally got my chance to eat at Lawrys!!! on my b'day!!

it may not be a big deal but i've always been fascinated by the large paintings and the seemingly lush decor in the restaurant, unfortunately, i don't have the means to dine there.

till recently, i got a treat on my birthday!! yippee!!!!

the decor is nice, just as i've imagined it to be (been peeping in there now and then whenever i walk past) and the ambience is nice, until the dinner crowd starts coming.

oh and the food and service level is great!!! food is much to my liking...so irresistable that i think i over ate...felt i could burst out of my dress...lol...

the only problem is the choice of music and the overly enthusiastic waiters...haha...

the music is a mix of pop, and oldies....kinda disrupting i feel...dunno what words exactly to use...
as for the waiters, they keep popping by to see how we are progressing with dinner. well that's service i suppose, but it's irritating and interrupting our privacy! they should learn to do it more discreetly. like those english butlers do...haha...

on the whole, a sweet and delicious experience...we dined for a record time of 3 hours!

next stop....novus...

my graduation

2007-04-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

phil stephenson!!! he's super cute la!!! a lecturer who hails from scotland..very mild and very soft spoken =)

we actually went to cafe delma even though we are all really tired....jus refuse to let the day end so early....

adelyn!!! another colleague!!! haha

sir graham davidson and rosemary gosling!!! we are lucky to have the chance to take photo with them ...

we tried to throw our hats...but it looks terrible!!!!
zann!!! colleague and fellow sch mate and now, working in same building...haha
the guys!!!
the gals!!!

Ivan Sim!!! thanks for waiting for me la....now i demand my big treat!!!! hahaha

whoopeee!!!!!!!!!! i've graduated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so damn tired from all that excitement and walking and running...but it's all worth it =)

2007-04-07T02:43:00.000+08:00

I took so long to upload these images that i forgot when i went to cafe delma....oh well...it's a great place to lounge and relax...shiok....

the beds were pretty dirty actually...so got to bring a towel to lie on. oh and the service was quite bad actually...the waiters and waitresses there has no standard what so ever la.

so dun expect too much.

it's a great place to spend quality time with frens and loved ones (^_^)

Happy Valentine's day!!!

2007-02-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

to everybody and to my sweet heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went for an interview in the middle of the day and so kinda spoil any plans for the day....sigh....but it's ok...jus a casual relaxing day to slack and spend quality time together =)

dinner this yr was planned by me instead of him!!! and i chose to dine at esmirada at the orchard hotel...it serves mediterranean food and the restaurent has planned something unusual that we all werent prepared for!!!

Smashing of plates and glasses in the middle of dinner!!!!!!!!!???!???!?!??!!!

yeap....the restaurant was playing nice romantic music when suddenly it changed to some fast paced folk tune and then the waiters and waitresses passed us mini plates and everybody started throwing and smashing plates on the floor!!!!! some even went to the extent of smashing wine glasses and dinner plates!!!! apparently it's a greek tradition....why?? i dunno...but it's fun!!

pretty cool for a v-day dinner i feel. a unique experience....

i was pretty afraid at first...cos i was worried that the broken pieces will cut my leg or fall into my food!!!! it was candle light dinner and i cant really see what i'm eating!!!!??!?!?!?!?

but...all was well and it was great fun smashing plates and glasses!!! working there as a waiter shd be pretty cool cos dun have to worry that we have to pay for anything we break....kekeke....

presents this yr wasn't much of a headache actually....no flowers though, didnt wan them cos i do realise it's a waste of money to pay exorbitant prices jus cos it's v-day. i'd rather spend on a nice dinner instead.

he bought me a wallet that cost a whooping 600 bucks....and i bought him a ck tie, a pair of onitsuka shoes and a shirt.....still they dun match up....heee....thank you dear...will treat them with utmost care (^_^)

and the best part...yet the saddest part is travelling home on the bus...

i jus love travelling on the bus with a loved one...cos the journey is slow...get to spend time together and it's jus so relaxing!! and not to mention it's cheap.....lol....

oh well....v-day is jus an excuse to be pampered....but he's also pampered what...so guys, jus go all out and treat that special someone well, it's all worth it =)

2007-01-27T02:43:00.000+08:00

how many times have you asked yourself is this me?

wandering in my own consciousness that only exists in the tiny area of space. the madness of this material world and the disappearing reminder to stay true to myself.

BUDAK PANTAI IS SUPER GOOD!!!!

2007-01-09T01:46:00.001+08:00

2007-01-09T01:33:00.000+08:00

it's been 8 days since the start of 2007....how have it been so far?

many things have happened

many people i've met.

many things i've done

many words i've said.

it'll probably continue on and on and on and on...

and then i'll reflect on it some day when i suddenly settle down and then i'll probably say...why did i do that?

things would have been better? more interesting? worse??

no matter what, everything happens for a reason....

christmas

2006-12-27T02:00:00.000+08:00

dun he look cute!!!!!!!!!!! act cute at times....haha....
games and celebrating sam's birthday at settlers
wee lea!!! the heavy weight!!!!
joel the owner of the house

went for christmas gathering and gift exchange at joel's place...annual affair...this yr, deb bought a santa out fit!! and this big guy picked up the outfit!!!! very appropriate cos he's the one with the biggest belly!!!!!!!!!!!! muahahaha....see he cant even put on the pants and button up his shirt!!!! kewl...
christmas is the season of giving....

oh yea i gave so much i'm like broke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

santa i've been a good gal!!!!

2006-11-27T01:16:00.000+08:00

i love you grandpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ruyi, joanne and moi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my lovely cousins at the dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she look so pretty and sexy in this red dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we are family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's her younger brother on the left, that's my cousin james and that's her mum!!!! saw her crying when the tea ceremony was going on....oh man.... it must be difficult for her cos her daughter's going to be so away from her!!!!
Satoko masuda!!! she's really pretty and sweet!!! this is the morn, where i'm the jie mei!!!

the story goes that this young man went on an educational trip to japan and by heaven's fate he set eyes on this beautiful lady, beginning on this eventful trip of a long distance relationship.

it started with an email, which led to more emails, calls, and cross continental trips. the constant pining for the day to meet the loved one.
7 years of courtship...and today they read their vows in the witness of relatives and closed ones.

i admire their determination, i admire her courage and most of all, i admire their love.

i wish you all the best, eternal bliss and happiness.

omedeto gozaimasu.....

SUAY to the MAX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-26T15:04:00.000+08:00

i'm super suay....
super disgustingly suay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dun believe this.....

it started on thurs....suay-ness began at work...which i shall not dwell on cos it's disgusting and i dun wanna remind myself of it....in short....things weren't going smoothly and i actually tot of jus killing myself....

plus....i went for pedicure cos my cousin's wedding is coming and i'm suppose to be one of the jie-mei....and for the first time, after doing so many pedi's, the pedicurist shaved off a piece of my meat off my big toe!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it started bleeding non stop....until next day the wound still bleeding!!!!!!!!!!! and the weddin is in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG......

so i went see the doc...but the stupid doc says it's a superficial wound and refused to give me any cream of sorts, then charge me 20 bucks for a 5min consultation.......ergghg.....

in any case, i gave the bill to the shop and then on top of that make them give me a free mani voucher to compensate for my pain and suffering......hiak hiak....

so jus as i tot it's all over......something worse came up...

yest was shopping at suntec for my shoes.....went into like 4 shops and there were either no sizes of the shoes were dirty....

so we were strolling and then suddenly somebody puked and it splattered onto my leg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the amazing thing is everbody who was walking around the boy didnt kena anything except me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAH KAO!!#$$^*(%%##%&%(&%^$#$#$%#%$&$%*!!!!!!!!!

so i went to clean up...luckily, i wasnt wearing long pants cos if not it's my clothes that will stink and that's worse!!!!!!!!!

so then i was already feeling very down....with a hurting toe and an aching calf from all that limping....and the ultimate thing happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he puked water on top of my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see i was on the escalator, i was on the lower stair while he was standing on the upper stair....and i cracked a stupid lame joke which i dun even think is funny ...and that stupid bugger who happen to be drinking water tot its funny!!! so he tried to control his laughter while drinking water but failed and so out the water comes landing on my head....

twice in a day i got puke on me....one from a stranger and the other from my closest.....what are the chances!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! super upset la!!!!!!!!!!!!! on top of my head somemore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tis is disgusting shit man.....when will my bad luck end?!?!?!!?!?!?!

please let it end !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-06T01:39:00.000+08:00

the waiter tot it's my bday so he put a candle for us...lol....so cute....it tastes gd btw....

Happy 1st yr anniversary!!!!

2006-11-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

i remembered how when we reached our 1st mth together, we actually quarreled cos i wanted to celebrate our r/s by month but he wanted it by yr instead....insisting that an annual affair is more meaningful than a monthly thing. while i on the other hand felt that it'll be too long to celabrate by yr cos who knows whether we can actually last the yr, and so we shd commerate each month that we spend together.

i forgot how i eventually gave in, or how he convinced me...probably i too felt that it's quite tiring to make it a monthly affair....

in any case, i'm glad, excited....and to a certain extent relieved that we actually arrived to this stage....it means alot to me....

to celebrate this day we bought a couple watch...he tot of it....and i think that's really sweet...
furthermore he even surprised me with a bouquet of flowers!!!!! the purple roses are imported from holland and it's naturally purple, not dyed....oh man....that's really sweet...and it feels like valentine's day....haha....
subsequently he brought me to this restaurant called secret garden...food's nice, yet affordable...and the ambience is jus great, with really gd service (^_^)
and it's a sweet gesture cos we chanced upon it a very long time ago (it's somehwere near bugis, yet away from the crowd) and i mentioned once that i like the decor and atmosphere...and so he remembered and made a reservation for this day...

so he actually planned to bring me to the musuem....sounds kinda weird...but i tot it was quite a cool idea...alas it's still under renovation....
then he wanted to bring me to fort canning to visit some tunnel, after which we'll have a picnic....but then it rained today, thankfully cos i wasnt so prepared to go fort canning in my heels. kekeke....so instead we caught a movie and shopped and went for dinner...like we always do...simple...

oh and the funny thing is, we bumped in some of his frens, and one of them actually tot we went to rom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh man!!!!!!!!!!!! that's like how funny!!! and scary too.....haha.....
one of the waiter's tot it was my b'day....now that's not as far fetched....lol....

the day passed by really fast...in fact i was jus hoping that it would never come...so that we can always still be dating....still be having petty quarrels...and still feel that everything we do together is refreshing and fun....
now that it's been 1 yr...what's going to happen next and in the future?? trying not to think about it...the future is not ours to say....i'll love everyday and minute that i can spend with him.

thank you for making me feel so special, and loved ...

FRIDAY THE 13TH

2006-10-15T16:25:00.000+08:00

I'VE EXPERIENCED MY WORSE FRIDAY THE 13TH....

was planning to go clark quay to chill after an exhuasting week..need to release some tension. so we were walking to brewerks, after some deliberation and walking. much to my dismay, the heel of my right shoe broke!!!! i've only worn it for 4-5 times!!!!! and it's not even a stiletto heel, it's a stout broad heel!!!!! i didnt fall or anything like that but this really sucks!!! this is the 1st time my heel broke!!! and in public!! it's already 9 plus and at clark quay, where to find any shoe shop or cobblers!?!?!?!?

so i asked my fren sean to jus use brute force and pull off the other heel for me...

funny, but i felt more embarrassement then heart pain...the shoe was from pazzion and it costs me 40 plus bucks!!!!!!!! even charles and keith dun give me such problems!!!!!!!!

so my fren manage to break it off quite easily...imagine the lousy quality...sigh...had to break it off la, else i'll be walking like it have a terrible limp....

everything was fine at brewerks...tried the sample set and shared some mussels....
after that we walked to take NR1...my feet hurt like crazy lor....cos there were nails at the heels, and since the shoes were not meant to be flat, it was hurting my whole feet la....

and then the worse came....we were waiting for NR1 like we always do if we stay out late on a wk end...

half hr went by.....no NR1...shd we take cab? aiya shd be coming liao....
1 hr went by....no NR1.....shd we take cab?? it shd really be coming liao...wait so long already?!?!
1.5 hr went by....still no NR1....by this time, NR2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 all came...and at least 2 or 3 of each came...but still no NR1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn pissed, damn tired...but we waited so long liao!!!!!!!! got to be coming right? then we asked other NR drivers if it's coming and they all said it is!!!!! but we dun see the god damn bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally...after 1hr 40 min...we see the bus... wanted to scream at the bus driver...but we jus asked...why so long?!?!?! and he jus smiled at us....kao!!!!!!! anyway...send complain letter to sbs liao...see what they say....

got home at about 330am....kao....hope this suay-ness wont follow me....

2006-10-07T14:42:00.000+08:00

burning the forest is cheap.

gets the job done fast.

ashes work as fertilizers.

felt like i'm walking in the clouds except it stinks.

felt like i'm perpetually stuck in club.

bet those smokers dun mind the haze cos they are already inhaling so much smoke everyday and every hr anyway.

but i'm coughing and have breathing difficulties and my eyes hurt.....

we can be sheltered from the earthquakes, the storm, the typhoons and tsunamis thanks to our poor neighbours....but this is something we cant escape from cos it's also caused by our poor neighbours.

right........

work

2006-10-07T14:37:00.000+08:00

i miss studying. miss the carefree days of school life. where the only worries are tests and exams and what to do after lessons.

work is interesting ... but it will probably last only a few mths.

i know people make mistakes...but why is it that the mistakes i make are so phenomenal and .... record breaking!!!!!
i know what's impt is to learn from mistakes and to move on...

but this is hurting my ego....decreasing whatever opportunities i have....

why must i make such mistakes!!!!!!! if this is a challenge in some warped form i dun wan it!!!!!

sigh....

NIGHT SAFARI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-26T00:31:00.000+08:00

huge hyenas, huge elephants, wild boars, rhinos, indian wolves, roaring lions, free roaming anteaters, big big big bats, flying squirrels swopping above our heads....blah blah .... no glass panels, no barriers ... all less than 4 meters away....i think....

night safari is fun fun fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go with frens, blabber nonsense along the way. make fun of each other. make so much noise that the animals dun even wanna bother with us. and when tired, pay 8 bucks for a 45 min tram ride that takes u to other parts of the zoo that cannot be accessed by foot. and also try to laugh at the commentators efforts to joke while telling us anecdotes such as a lion mates up to 50 times a day or a tiger sleeps up to 20 hrs a day, and that an elephant produces up to 40-50 kg of dung a day but it's not wasted cos somewhere in sri lanka, they use the dung to make re-cycled paper.

after that eat supper at prata house even when everybody is shagged.

i'll do this again....maybe a few yrs later...lol

2006-09-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

I need you to talk to me...let me be your listening ear.

I need you to let me be there when you face a problem.

If you need to cry, you can cry in my arms.

If you feel frustrated, I can help you with your burden.

If things don't go as smoothly, I can accompany you all the way.

I need something more from you...

Credit Suisse 150th b'day

2006-09-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

that's the twins! beth and catherine. cat is suoer talkative while beth is more temperamentel...they are super adorable...cant help loving them (^_^)

since i'm still unemployed, decided to help VSA with their latest proj which just ended today.

CS is celebrating their 150th b'day and they collaborated with VSA to invite several artists from indonesia, thailand, malaysia and spore to draw some art pieces and then it'll be auctioned at their dinner in oct.

today at the dinner, their last dinner together for this art workshop and "competition"...i saw warmth, friendship, and innocence...

these kids have different disabilities...there were autism, hearing impaired, polio, and intellectual disability and more...
and they are also from different cultures, and ethnicities...

but nothing stopped them from breaking barriers and boundaries in terms of art, their imagination and most definitely making friends.

just imagine, a boy who only speaks english and lip reads, with a boy who only speaks malay and couldn't hear very clearly...but they just kept gesturing to each other and laughing heartily...and i was wondering, do they really understand each other?? but they were genuinely enjoying each other's company!!

and on the other end, there were these 2 boys making funny faces at each other and poking fun at each other...yet they were able to make the adults laugh and make funny faces together with them too!!! i bet we all found our innocence tonight...just for this moment and i think it's more than enough...

i learnt so much from them...a 12 yr old girl...through her painting...the way she sees the world...tells you love is a universal language...
and love for her is so natural...unguarded...

I am inspired...pictures speak a thousand words

2006-08-26T14:48:00.000+08:00

slacking at the esplanade roof top garden...like the view there...gotta rem these moments...life's so busy...with i dunno what...

i dun know what time this is...pretty late n pretty drunk already i think...lol
on the way to momo....1st time club after the exams...since god knows when...kinda regret it...realise it's jus no longer fun....oh well...
this is the set, with coleslaw and the buttered biscuit. quite unique. the fries is really gd...
after watching click in orchard on tues, went to at changi airport terminal 1 to try this fast food outlet called popeye...things we can do b4 we work...lol...these chicken strips really not bad, an alternctive to kfc i suppose...haha

a day at the beach

2006-08-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

played many games at the beach today. there was game where we had "pretend" disabilities and made to build sandcastles, then we played frisbee, followed by monkey, and dog and bone and finally scissors paper stone with running...lol.....many weird games.

to set the record straight...there will be winners and losers in any game. fine.
but, if there was no integrity and fair play, then things wouldnt be fun anymore.
the rules were set, but if it was changed to the convenience of the other team, then i dun think that's fair to my team.
and....in a game of dog & bone, you snatch the bone and try to cross the line first. one DO NOT kick the bone such that it'll be nearer their team hence making it easier for them. that i call foul play.

so you see it wasn't about winning or losing....it's about fair play.

oh and it doesn't help that there's this moron that couldn't keep his mouth shut la. i never knew i could hate a person so much until today. the meer sight of that one person cld make me feel so...so...disgusted? irritated? angry? ... whatever....i never wanna see that person again.
oh and jus today i realise i'm not the only one....see....there's good reason to hate him....or her....it...

2006-08-11T02:05:00.000+08:00

watched the fast and the furious, hard candy, and today the lake house...all within a week or so...

and i think they are all pretty good shows...all of a different genre...

let's see, if you wan humour and action and you love cars...then the fast and the furious wld be a gd choice. oh there are loads of babes on screen...definitely a show for the boys.
there was a plot (at first i tot there wouldnt be one), but it was kinda predictable...
boy loves to drive, learns to race, got on the wrong gal, got into trouble, raced the streets and wham bang somebody got killed. so boy races to end the game and saves the day...and of course he gets the gal too. haha...

for the record, sound track was gooooooooood....

hard candy on the other hand was rather....dfferent...i'd categorise it as a thriller really...not that it took us on some exciting ride but the suspense and shocking revelations!! definitely something that makes us all sit up and say "hey!! how was that possible!!"

in the movie, this 14 yr old gal tricked a 30 yr old man out after some "steamy" online chat...and got him to bring her to his home. from there she drugged him and jus as we tot she's going to torture him physically...she decided to jus cut his balls...literally and she also blended it....on the pretext that he is a phaedophile. and then she managed to coax him to kill himself...which he did.
funny thing is, if someone jus cut your balls, how can you run around the house and even climb ladders without bleeding or hurting there?!?!?!?

oh well....in any case, really great show...lots of cringing moments....and love their witty conversations. listen out for their puns.

lake house is such a romantic show...it's been sometime since i last watched romance!!! and i enjoyed every bit of it!!! call me a die hard romantic...i dun care!!!! i jus love it!!
oh and of course the acting was superb!!
i was a little bit lost at first...see sandra is in the yr 2006, and keanu in the yr 2004....so they are standin on the same day at the same time (albeit different yr) writing notes to each other and then putting it into the mail box so that the other party could rec it. that was cute...

so he tried to meet her 2 yrs later...but actually he already met her in his yr which was her 2 yrs bcak...but seems that she cant recall..but when he met her, he knew cos he was already writing letters to her...
so why cant he jus remind her that he met her at her birthday celebration and even kissed?? dun think anybody cld forget kissing someone so incredibly gorgeous right?!?!?! hoho....

so anyway...they even decided to go on a date together!?!!? since they are at the same place, same time, but different yr, they walked around and communicate by putting notes into mail boxes that they come across....amazing huh....
i really think it's a nice relaxing show....beatiful soundtrack too!!! lots of nice soothing music...

if i have to choose one show that i like best...that'd be difficult...but i'd put my vote on the lake house....kekeke.....

VSA annual art exhibition

2006-08-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

ru, cousin, and organising com with me...and also chian bei bei...oh forgot to take his photo...oops...haha
mimi!!! look at those cute magnets!! she do herself!! super cute lor...and she have had great sales since day 1 !! oh btw, she's a beneficiary of vsa cos of her hearing impairment...and her paintings also very nice!! but too steep for me to buy...sob....
they are the bestest of frens...kelly and duan yi....it's fun having you gals around!!!

2006-07-25T13:17:00.000+08:00

i'm happy

but how long will i stay happy??

can anybody stay happy for long?? like seriously long?

what's that thing that keeps creeping up and spoiling everything?

something's missing. i'm missing something. i feel something.
everybody will die...one way or another.
so why am i so afraid of it? why do i feel like i'll die with a regret. many regrets?

what have i not done?
what do i want to do most?

can i live for myself, and no one but my self....and without regrets

VSA annual art exhibition

2006-07-23T01:56:00.000+08:00

been helping out with VSA on their annual art exhibition and it's been pretty ok so far cos i learn quite a bit of things...it's been simple things so far, all the preparations and sending out emails and contacting people...

recently tried to do a mailer...and it's been so long since i last touched publisher!! felt like such an idiot trying to do it lor...lack creativity, lack skills....bleah....

will be traveling to bedok more often cos office is over there...
doing things like making lanyards, updating biographies of artists and doing manuals for volunteers....
then when exhibition starts will learn how to sell paintings and maybe do some painting with kids...

i admire those working at VSA...sooooooooo much things to do and handle!!! they are like up to their neck with work!!! and still have to handle people with disabilities....wow...RESPECT!!! haha...

i'm glad i'm doing this now that i'm not studying and havent find a job...at least i'm doing a good cause and learning at the same time...

2006-07-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

act cute
act cool
this is the peanut butter with condense milk toasted loaf at tang shui cafe...it's really good....wow...must try!!!

large swiss cheese pizza with prawns at mr beans cafe....it's sinnnnnnfullllllyyy good ...

9 squeeze into a car

2006-06-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

yest ... went to eat crabs with a bunch of frens....
surprisingly there were alot of people on a weekday!! had to queue...and then waited more than 1hr for the crabs.

it's at ang mo kio ave 3 blk 232...apparently it's quite famous...but the service sucks big time!!!!!!
we were in the queue while waiting for the others, and there's this stupid lady who's suppose to get our orders, but when we ask her some questions she either totally ignore us or get all impatient!! give us attitude somemore....wah lau!!!
was thinking, we might go macpherson kopitiam jackson crab instead...much better svc...

anyway, we ordered butter cream, claypot beehoon, and of course chilli crabs!!!
all were nice...but the best was still the butter cream!! think the sauce made the crab taste exceptionally sweet!! yum!!!
there was also meat and vegetables...but it wasnt fantastic...the raves were jus the crabs lor

and yest was the 1st time i ate crabs with frens...usually eat it with family...and there'll be dad and bro to help me break and peel the meat ...heeee.... i'm really bad at eating crabs...so let the expert do lor... (^_^)

then after that, decided to go la kopi...and we did the incredible....it was a feat...
5 big men....and i do mean big!! like 2 of them were almost 80kg each....and 4 gals....squeeze into 1 car!!!!!!!!!!!

so imagine 1 driver and 1 passenger in the front.and then 4 guys and 3 gals in the back!!!
we cant stop laughing in the car lor...it was damn funny...cos we arent that small really...except maybe for one gal....gosh....and we were too embarrassed to look out the car!! especially for the gals who are sitting on the guys laps!! our heads were touching the roof of the car lor!!! lol
it was definitely fun....and quite an experience...

but....as of now...i'm having sore throat, cough, and slight fever!!! yuck!!!!
sigh....need to go gym again...burn off those sinful food!!!! and squeeze into my jeans!!!!....sobs....

2006-06-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

i am disgusted, flabbergasted....yuck!!!!

was just having a debate with sam about giving offerings to a church. i agree that we all give offerings to our respective church, temples or what not...but i jus dont agree that we should be told how much to give. this is something that should be done within our means.

if we only earn so much... can afford so much, then we'll give that much...
i know chc is not the only church that make their mbrs tie a percentage of their income to the church...but i jus think that's wrong.

i found out that they actually spent 48 million on building their church at jurong!!!!! that's a disgusting amount!! so much more can be done with that amount!!
spending 48 million on aircon, cushioned seats, plasma tv's all over, huge camera's rolling, expensive equipment, band....what for???

then he said...it's cos the christian faith believe that as long as the house of god is nice and splendour, then god will bless us all.....

unbelievable....blind faith...that's what it can do to make some people very rich...and make the less fortunate hope that they too can be better off....

i know much have been done by the church, helping the poor and needy...helping those in other countries that's disaster prone...not denying that...but that amount?!?!?! can be used to do so much more!

i too give offerings ...the guanyin temple i visit at waterloo street is nice too...dunno how much they spent rebuliding it...but without those comforts and luxuries...i dun think it's comparable...

so anyway...had a long debate...bottem line is, it's all about faith...i'm in no position to challenge it...in every religion there are fanatics...cant avoid that...
but had to jump to another topic...cos i was too disgusted to carry on....

hmmm......let's see....

oh met up with an old fren yesterday...old old primary school fren...and after all these years...we really hitted it off last night...
talked about death, lonliness, relationships, being 2-timed, and being dumped...haha....
it's amazing....guess when you have not seen someone for very long, there are more things to talk about cos we've each accumulated experiences in each other's absence...and that's really nice and wonderful a feeling...

oh dear...seriously need to go work out...feel so flabby!!! eeckk....

THE PAST

2006-06-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

it's interesting how we look back at our past, and then we go

WOAH!!!
YOU LOOK LIKE THAT AH!!??!?!?!?!?
LOOK AT THAT!!!
WHAT YOU WEARING!!!
COOL HAIR DO!!!
AARRHHGGG.....WHO'S THAT?!?!?!?

this is my mum!!

shopping!!!!

2006-06-20T13:37:00.000+08:00

bought a pair of levis jeans...again...

realise that i cant wear anything else other than levis. i've tried every other brand available...i think...and they dun fit!!! and they also can get freaking steep!!!

well, at least levis always comes up with new quirky, sometimes rather nice designs...what's more important is that the jeans flatter me and my stupid butt. (^_^)

after exams went shopping!!!!!! feel so deprived!!!!!!!

but i ended up empty handed for the 1st two days of shopping!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!
that feels really lousy...i wanna buy stuff, but i realise that i'm much more conscious of how much it costs...and also...i realise there really isnt much nice stuff out there!! why ah?? cos of sale so shops lay out the not so nice stuff is it?? hmmm.....

oh well, finally on the 3rd day, bought a pair of nicey novo wedges!!!! cos fren could get me nicey discount!!!

and on 4th day, got the pair of jeans!! he bought it for me!!!!

told him to get me the tiffany when he gets a job...heart pain...for him...and also cos i cant get my tiffany yet....LOL
oh well...it's ok la....good things are worth waiting for bah....hee....

i'm also looking at dior, gucci, DKNY............etc etc etc......

nah....i wish i'm that rich lor.........kekeke....

exams are over. what am i gonna do now?

2006-06-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

it's finally over. not very excited cos i dun feel confident at all.
this sucks. really feel bad cos i really studied very hard. though some say it'll be fine as long as i've put in the effort, i dun think it's true. at the end of the day, employers look at your cert, they dun give no shit how much hard work, or how hard the paper was.

trying not to think about it. it's over. what should i do now?

feel like doing intern while waiting for results. i'll try sending emails....

now...i need sleep. need to exercise! accumulated soooooooooo much fat from all that studying! yucks....feel fat and lousy....sigh....

i hope i'll do well...

2006-06-08T00:16:00.000+08:00

if praying helps...after all these hard work...

i hope that screw ball dies or gets killed....while giving all of us a high score.

this year's exams sucks big time.

work so hard for nothing.

one more paper to go.

hope that old english man will be nice to us...

nah...i'll work my ass off

but if the paper stinks...

oh man, i cant bear to think...

i need a break!!!!!!!!!! get away!!!!!!!!!!! somewhere!!!!!!!! anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's been 6 months

2006-05-05T23:55:00.001+08:00

did a pedi at dashing diva for the 1st time today!!!
felt so happy!! so pampered!!

thank you sweety!! it's really nice and thoughtful of you (^_^)

though 6 mths is really not a very long time...it's still significant...it went by in a flash, and all that matters is that you are still here by my side.

it's not without tears, laughter, sorrow and joy...but i'm glad we made it happen.

while i was doing the pedi...the lady forgot to give me some mags to read...so i was stoning on the nice plush couch...then i started to let my mind drift...many thoughts...

i was happy...and then i felt guilty...cos it's rather steep...more expensive than other salons out there...and well, we are still students....and this is rather extravagant...
but then again, it feels good that my bf pampers me...and then i realise that all glas should have someone pamper them too!! we all deserve it!!
that's when i realise...i haven't been a very good gal this year...do i still deserve it?
gonna try to be a better person...

***********************************************************************************

i feel really bad these days...like i've done something really wrong...am i wrong? maybe i should be more tolerant? maybe i should keep opinions to myself??
he can just smile at the person even when there are nasty to him...but i cant. be nasty to me, and i'll be nasty back too...i just tend to feel indignant...
maybe i should learn to control my emotions...there are times when the society out there doesn't really care how you feel...much less do they want to see the ugly side of you...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2006-05-03T14:18:00.000+08:00

i had fun! fun! fun! went to the brazilian restaurant at 6th avenue for xuanyi and chee yan's b'day!! nearly burst ourselves eating meat...more meat! and a little veggies...monstrous...

then had a little wine...and some photo taking...and some gossiping...and more meat...and more wine...to swallow those meat...and more talking...

right, isnt that dinner for you?? its fun!!!!!!!! for once, its not the same old food from stinky canteen, and eating over our books at the benches in school...bah....

from left top. Xuanyi, adrian, samuel, li sheng, joalin, wee lea, kuan ping, liang ming joel
from left bottom. chee yen, cheryl, me, irene, deborah, philip, ziming, damon.

why do we need friends?

2006-04-28T13:43:00.002+08:00

someone ever asked me why we can be friends one day. and the next, we behave like strangers...

throughout my course of education, i've joined and left several groups.
i use to think that, friends are forever. that those who've stuck through thick and thin with you, will remain with you for life.

that's what i use to think of my secondary school friends. but, after we graduate and separate for other schools, everything changed.

maybe many others are luckier than me. i personally took it pretty hardly. i was confused and rather lost. but i guess i've learnt, not to take things like these too seriously. what's more impt is that we've shared happy moments together. something we all can look back on fondly.

i learn now that groups of friends are essentially psychological and emotional things that all humans yearn and seek out, especially in unfamiliar environments.

imagine, walking into school, alone...wouldn't it be great when you can walk into a room, and be greeted by many familiar faces, and warm smiles? compared to going to school alone and be alone. we are all social beings. we are drawn together by a common force, common goal, or common enemy. we need to belong.

at this moment, i'm yet in another big group of friends. people come and people go. the main ones are still here. now there're about 16-18 of us. one friend asked me, will we meet up again after we graduate?well, i said, the only thing that's holding the group together at the moment, is the impending exams. what's to say in the future? i do not know.

2006-04-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

a bit blur but at least can see everybody's face =)

2006-04-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

now that the hand's gone can see half his face...lol

2006-04-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

one of the nicest photos but sam's face blocked by liang's hand...sigh

2006-03-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

at the end of the line
is the sound of your voice
and the words that i shall never say
those words people fear,
when they don't make them laugh
that have too often been in books,songs and movies.
words i'd like to tell you
and words i'd like to live.
words i never shall say

i want to, i just can't
i'm so lonesome i could die
and i know where you are
i'm coming, wait for me.
i'll know you, you'll know me
spare me some time
i'll give you all mine
i'd like to come to you
but i stay
hating myself
i'll never come to you

i want to, i just can't

i want to speak to you
i want to be with you
or at least try to sleep
i'm afraid you'll be deaf
i'm afraid you'll escape
afraid i'm too forward
i cannot tell you
that i love you...perhaps

2006-03-13T01:31:00.000+08:00

i bought this without knowin there's a pink one for ladies

2006-03-13T01:30:00.001+08:00

there are mirrors in them

2006-03-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

mints

my white dress is ruined

2006-03-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

i went to a wedding wearing this really pretty white dress....and i only wore it once
but tonight its ruined.

every body was saying i look pretty...

well i was pretty when i walked into the restaurant...but i was a total wreck when i stepped out.

see i was jus sitting there talking to my little cousin, when suddenly, then something splashed on me...and the next thing i know...there are purple stains on my white dress...and they are huge stains...i was so shocked...i jus sat there and stared...then i calmly took the cloth and wiped while everybody else around me started taking out tissues and white wipes and more cloth and fussed around me...

all i could think of was... @#$^*%$#@#$^&$@@$%!!!!!#%%#!!!! my white dress!!!!!!!!

but i didnt scream, i didnt holler, i didnt scold the waitress...instead i jus said its ok, and i jus smiled...
while everybody talked and joked about it, trying to make me feel better, i jus smiled and joked along...telling myself its no big deal.

then jus as i tot the night's gonna be over, and i could go home, i spilled red bean paste on my dress...which caused the red stains...jus cos my uncle wanted to give me something, and i stretched across the table to get it thus accidentally toppling the bowl of desert onto my self...

!$#^$%&**$&$#^!!!!%$&*^*!!!!^$&$%&$%&$%&$!!!***%&$^$%^%%%#^$^&###!!#&

this sucks...this really sucks....

actually i wasn't too upset nor angry...there's really nothing i can do...

in fact i was more upset by the fact that my stupid bf refused to pick up my calls!!!!!!
and when he finally called, he said he was busy doing something, and that there were alot of pple calling and he didnt want to pick up....and that he didnt know i was so affected by it....WTF!!!!!!!!
the least he could do was to pick up my calls and listen to me!!! and he's got my number!! i'm not one of those irritating callers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i screamed at him.
yes i ranted at him
yes, i was pissed.
and yes i made sure he knows it.

sigh...i hope my dress can be saved...i hope laundry service would work =(

6 men and a female driver

2006-03-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

it was a boring school day... all of us diligently trying to study and prepare for the mocks...

and quite a number of us from the gang turned up today...most of the guys...

so we decided to head out for lunch....school + canteen food = sick

so one of us drove, and she happen to drive a 7 seater mitsubishi space wagon...and in goes all of us... and the guys are not small... they are rather big and heavy...but the driver is tiny and cute...lol

quite a sight...really cute...

2006-03-04T00:10:00.000+08:00

have you ever wondered what it was like to be in love?
or if you are in love now, was it what you'd thought it would be?

is the person you love, that same person you've been dreaming of?
was it meant to be? or you're still not sure why it's him or her...

sometimes i wonder why people fall in love?
why do we hug? why do we kiss? why do we feel so horribly jealous when we see them so happy together?

an act of love? or just to tell the whole world that she's mine/he's mine ??

we all need love, and so they say...
maybe love is just an excuse, to keep someone by our sides.

so if we love someone why do we still allow them to be hurt?
why do we hurt them?

my sweet valentine

2006-02-15T15:09:00.000+08:00

yesterday 14th february 2006 i celebrated my 1st valentine's day...
it was sweet, romantic and rather, unique ... (^_^)

there was a bouquet of roses, a bottle of red wine, cherries even to go along with the wine.
then there was sushi for dinner complete with candle light to create an atmosphere...
and for desert there was ben & jerry ice cream plus royce chocolates!!!!!

and best of all, he prepared them all!! setting of table, lighting of candles...of course he didn't prepare the food for he can't cook for nuts...but still, i appreciate the efforts =)

nothing like a fancy restaurant setting, nor the expensive delicacies like prime beef...but it was sweet and cosy for we are out, and far away from the busy streets where other couples might linger...

such an enjoyable might that i wish it'll never come to an end...sigh

photos!! wonder how come no photos of us...think we are too drunk...lol....

2006-02-15T15:06:00.001+08:00

DIY stars

2006-02-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

i love fresh cherries! are there glow in the dark straws? then there'll be glow in the dark stars!

2006-02-15T15:04:00.000+08:00

flowers!!!

2006-02-15T15:03:00.000+08:00

my presents!! i like the diy stars!

2006-02-15T15:02:00.000+08:00

he made those stars himself until his fingers swell and hurt...poor thing

2006-02-15T15:01:00.001+08:00

the wine is really good. i dun like dry wine

2006-02-15T15:01:00.000+08:00

candle light dinner

2006-02-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

the bottle of red wine...which we manage to finish between the both of us

CNY day 1

2006-01-31T13:36:00.001+08:00

chinese new year day 1 !! went to my grandpa's place. and this year without fail there were the usual mahjong sessions (2 tables), lotto session (where all the kids and non mj players will be) and the poker session where the uncles and aunties and older cousins (mums n dads and cousins above the age of 20).... yes it a gambling den come every cny...lol...but its only once a year...all in the name of fun (^o^)

and this year, there was something special. ah gong decided to take out his cordon bleu in the middle of the day!! and it was 3 plus 4!! who drinks hard liqour in the middle of the day anyway?!?

so there we are getting high and not so nearly drunk and gambling at the same time. then i realise my mum can really hold her liqour very well, 3 cups of martell and she can still win at mahjong (she is already very good at it anyway). i take my hats off her. applause!!!! (^_^)

unfortunately this yr didnt go anywhere else, got stuck at my grandpa's the whole day...feel a bit dumb dressing up so much...oh well...got to accompany my ah gong the whole day...nice to see him to happy and smiling (^o^)

2006-01-31T13:34:00.000+08:00

that's my whole family! soon dad n big bro going to fly back to china...sobs

2006-01-31T13:31:00.000+08:00

that's my 2nd bro pouring a cup for himself. looking drunk already even b4 he starts drinking. tsk tsk

2006-01-31T13:30:00.000+08:00

that's the bottle of cordon bleu. and that's my yakult bottle

2006-01-31T13:29:00.000+08:00

that's my eldest bro pouring martell

my bro's back!

2006-01-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

yest me eldest bro and dad came back from china to celebrate CNY !!!!

boy am i happy to see them, and so is mum...she's over joyed.

and this morning i woke up to a full house again...a bit not used to it...but soon that usual feeling of family warmth is back.

cant help but talk incessantly, pick fights and irritate my bro like i use to. so fun!!! so nostalgic....

and i realise i missed my bro...gone were the days of bickering, fighting, bullying....it's jus nice to see him home again...we've all grown up i suppose....

my eldest bro is only going to finish his assignment this sept, 2nd bro is still going to keep burning late nights at the office, and dad's prob going to keep flying in and out of china...while i gotta mug for studies...what's going to happen to mum???

now i know why she's always complaining that we dont stay home enough...from a rowdy family of 5...now there's only her at home....sigh....

and what if i start work in future too? whose gonna accompany her??

i hate this guilty feeling now....

2006-01-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

i really enjoyed my dinner at tapas tree last night. it's been some time since i had a good meal at a nice restaurant, plus i had a fantastic conversation, the weather was great and breezy, and there was the full moon. nice, very nice =)

i think tapas tree serves rather original spanish food, not been to other spanish restaurants so i cant say for sure if that's the best. but the food is really good.
its located at clark quay. it was a unique experience, me and my fren watching the pple stroll by, listening to the 3 amigos sing, as we sat amongst the many expats eating palleas, stewed beef soaked in olive oil and garlic and another dish i forgot what it's called.
h/e, they do not re-fill our glasses at all throughout our dinner. only when we ask for it then they'll do it, and they'll take a very long time doing so. but other then that service is quite ok la.

pity there weren't any photos, but it's an experience i'd keep for very very long.

hopefully can get to go there again...a little bit steep, but still manageable =)

which suddenly jolts my memory. fine dining in spore is not exactly a very cheap activity. sure we can get food at affordable prices, and it's good food. h/e there are times when i just wanna go to a nice fancy restaurant, experience the ambience, be served. i suppose i belong to the category of pple who live to eat and not vice versa.
it's always nice to go to a nice place with that special someone, enjoy a quiet meal together and not have to worry about the price, about whether he can afford it or not.

maybe some may say this is materialism. i'm not denying it. neither am i saying that i want to do this for my every meal. there are times when i cook, times when i do not mind travelling to some remote hawker centre to eat some food that was introduced on tv or magazines or by frens. but i guess most the time i prefer to fine dine. to dress for the ocassion, and jus spend nice quiet moments that a hawker centre cannot offer.

blatant claps: a triple bill

2006-01-07T11:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday i attended attended SIM's maiden production at asian civilisation's museum. a play consisting of 3 plays written by jocelyn, jasmine and me!! directed by funstage producer, benny lim.

it was so exciting and weird, as i sat there watching my own script being acted out on stage. listening to the actors and actresses, those words that i came out with. and i wonder how did the audience feel? do they understand? could they relate to it?

though my script was short, i felt i didn't do too bad a job considering this is my 1st time writing a script. and definitely it was the artistic direction of benny and the fantastic acting of the actors that brought the script to another level.
plus, some of those students on stage acted for the first time last night!!!!!!!
i applaud them =)

i also made alot of new frens last night, getting to know the whole cast! it was fun.
as i did an interview with them, the director, the audience...fun fun fun!!!!
i didn't know interviewing people is such a fun and exciting job!
it was all impromptu, last min roped me in to do this, and i jus fielded the questions from whatever comes to mind! of course with professionalism and eloquence

(^_^) grinz....

too bad no photos...hopefully can get some photos soon.
and now i have the urge to write another script....hmmm....

i love you? i love you not?

2006-01-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

i use to think that i will not be affected by this. that as long as two people are in love, it doesn't matter that they do not share the same religion. now, i finally realise that this may not be the case.

for the past few days, religion seem to be our pet topic. was debating with him and his fren. they told me their view on their religion and i told them mine. there are certain things of the religion that i cannot agree with. and after all these debate, i still find it hard to accept. for example, non believers of god go to hell. (whatever......)

it wasn't a case where he tried to convert me, nor me convert him. i guess its jus the fact that he chose to belong to the more radical and extreme church and he's a convert.

went with him to service and cell on several occasions. and each time i see him pray, it scares me. i freaked out. pardon me, but they look horribly cultish when they all start speaking in tongue. if one have seen what a service is like in their church. and everytime the pastor or cell leader speaks, i either roll my eyes or jus be amazed at how those people lap up everything that was said almost as if they are not listening, but yelling (yes literally) and shouting in approval for the sake of doing it. for there are certain things that are said that jus sounds plain selfish, or plain dumb. you gotta be there to listen to believe it. but then again, these people are fervent believers. faith brought them together one way or another. who is to say it is all sheer nonsense?

and suddenly i start to wonder whether it was right of me to get into this relationship. i dont know why i feel that way. but when its all over and when we spend happy times together, this issue doesn't seem to matter any more (until i see him pray again i suppose).

and i wonder. why?? why am i feeling this way? is it because i do not agree with the religion that's why i hate to see him in it? but if i truly love him, i should tolerate the things that he does. but everytime he says he's got cell on sat, or svc on sun...my heart just sinks...
and his excuse would be that its only a few hours, that even if he doesn't go svc on sun he'd be sleeping at home anyway. that i can take the opportunity to hang out with frens or do something else....yada yada...
it all sounds right and reasonable when he says it...but truth is, i just hate to see him so involved in it.
though he may say he's not very committed (cos there's apparently alot more to be done in the church which he doesn't do), i do feel it seem to be taking up his time.

maybe i am too demanding...i'm very scared....

my parent's 30th wedding anniversary!!!

2005-12-28T21:47:00.000+08:00

my parent's will be the death of me!!!!!!!

booked a table for them at al dante for dinner tonight on the rof top. nice view, good food that's affordable...yet they chose instead to eat at glutton square next to al dante!!!!!!!!
on the pretext that the restaurant was quiet and rather empty on the ground floor??!?!?!?!?!
isn't that good? peace and quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGGGHHHH >_<

sigh....so pissed...didn't listen to me properly when i gave them the detail....its 30th anniversary mah....should celebrate at some nice restaurant for once....wonder why they don't appreciate it...

in any case...at least they spent a day together out of the house...some quiet moments together...at least i did something for them =)

30 yrs together and still going strong...i'm really proud of my parents. this is no mean feat...looking at the rate young couples are getting divorce these days...i wonder whether i can make my own marriage a success...

mission accomplished

2005-12-24T01:40:00.000+08:00

baked cookies for our 1st month.

bought a guess? wallet for your birthday.

bought a pair of south park boxers for christmas.

it's been brain wrecking shopping for 3 special gifts this month...but at the end of the day, i guess i enjoyed it all (^_^)

and i hope you'll like them all =)

hi, i am jimmy

2005-12-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

the other day i was walking along a kopitiam near j8 on the way home. suddenly this guy appeared by my side and rambled ...

"hi wo shi jimmy, ke yi ren shi ni ma??" (hi i am jimmy, can i get to know you?)

"huh???!!??" (he spoke so fast i had to huh twice)

and i jus stared at him dumbfounded...so he had to repeat himself...

"er.....ok..." (i was so shocked that my mouth jus moved. dun ask me why i said what i said)

"oh ni zu fu jin ah?"

"ah"

"wo ye shi, wo zu blk 2.." (dun rem where he stay but he stays in bishan too)

and i was still too shocked and amazed...and suddenly he whipped out his hp and asked for my no...

"wo ke yi na ni de dian hua hao ma ma?"

"er...ah...er...erm....."

i was stumped. this guy came out of no where asking for my phone no???? no way!!!! he do look cute la...but that was just a bad way to try to pick up a gal la...and so he said

"but i tot u said ok? we can be friends??"

"ah...er...ah....er......erm......" (i was desperately thinking of something to say...i really was)

"you got boyfriend is it??"

"ah! yes" (laugh laugh) "yes!"

"oh , ok nevermind thanks" (turned around and walk away)

how could i forget that?? hahaha...i was so shocked that i think i stood there for 1-2 min...

this is the 1st time this have happened to me! how was i suppose to react?
then it led me to think, how long have he been noticing me? i'm sure he's noticed me for some time before approaching me, as much as a man is brave, he'd need time to plan this right???

i was kinda apologetic, if i embarrassed him, but i must applaud his courage. afterall, such pickups happen more often in a club where there's booze to up one's courage....lol

and then jus as i tot i'd never see this guy again (thinking he'd be so embarrassed he'd avoid me if he sees me from afar) i bump into him at the bus stop....what!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!

i was standing a distance from him when i noticed him at the bus stop too, and boy did i regret noticing him!!! i was praying in my heart he wont come near me... we just smiled and waited for our buses. luckily he didn't come up to me again, nor did he board the same bus as me....phew....i was soooooooooo embarrassed....

hope i wont see him again...maybe until 10 yrs later...muahahaha....

king kong!!!

2005-12-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

watched king kong! booked the director's club seats (aka couple seats) that has a leather sofa and a coffee table for only 25 bucks per couple!!!!!!!!!!!! do u know that gv grand's couple seats are 25 bucks per pax! 1 couple 50 bucks!!!!! yuck...

so anyway, its 3 hrs long, so decided to get better seats lor. our 1st time and its really great seats =)

show wasn't too bad...great graphics and nicely spaced out. didn't feel bored a single moment. yeap peter jackson didn't disappoint me =) oh and naomi watts is sooooo pretty!!! think she lloks like nicole kidman. and adrien brody, such soulfull eyes...sigh.... melt my heart...heee

2005-12-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

this doraemo key chain from action city. super cute. the body is movable, so when u jingle the key chain the body moves...haha

2005-12-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

this is the movie i watched alone on a monday night. a swedish film called as it is in heaven. 1st time i watch a movie alone

2005-12-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

watched king kong today! booked director's club seats. very nice =)

last sch bash at china black

2005-12-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

ok this is a little late, took place on thurs night. but what the hell.
went with the sim gang of pple, think cos its the last sch bash as students proper, so most of the gang went for it. though we all know it'll prob suck .... haha...but we had fun la, teasing each other to dance and jus be wild =)

also went with jason irene and ryan, as usual when jason's there, he makes sure we get, at the very least, tipsy....so yes when we drink we get even more high and thus more fun... woohooo!!!! muahahaha....

oh and whole family went for chalet, so i can play without having to worry about them staying up for me!!!! HURRAY!!!!!!!

this time around didn't get mobbed like the last 2 times i went to china black. actually i sorta broke my vow, never wanted to go back that place after i got mobbed by guys TWICE!!!!!!! but since the whole gang (a good 10 of us i think) decided to go...shall not be a spoil sport lor. and also this time i shall be protected....teeheeeee

thank goodness i went, or i'll prob miss a chance to make him jealous...muahahaha...*evil grin*

but honestly, i didn't choose to dance with those guys! they approached me!!!!!!

my 1st month!!

2005-12-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm, it was bitter, then sweet, then sucky, then happy....all in a day...not exactly what i expected it to be...but it's a unique experience i guess. time spent together is more important =)
nearly cried somemore, sigh...am i expecting too much? the past cannot be used to compare with the future.
when will you understand that?

left msm class earlier, b4 lecture ends...not on purpose, but class really sucked today! dunno what that quek is talking about lor, and so horriby dry...yucks...

went to my my aunt's place to make brownies yest morning, thinking that with a proper oven, brownies ahould turn out well, but it turned out sucky, then this morn tried a hand at it again, and it tastes fantastic!!!!!!!!! one of the best ever made =)
so proud of myself...hee...i think i should stick to my old microwave oven...

2005-12-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

what is it like to be in love? what do 2 people in love do?

2 more days... what will happen then? and what's gonna happen after that?

dad's coming home!!!!

2005-12-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

dad's coming home later!!!!! 3rd dec 7pm!!!!!!!!!

i'm happy cos i missed him, and i'm also happy cos then mum wont be alone at home!!!!!!!!

see i'm stuck in this horrible dilemma. these days i'm constantly out, and mum being a housewife stays home all day and complains that i'm not spending time with her!!!!
but she doesn't inderstand that i'm out cos i've got things to do and frens to go out with!!!! sigh....how i wish she's working or have other activities such that she'd not bother me so much. i know this sounds really bad, and unfillial...i do love her, but i've got a life too!!

now that dad's back, must make him psycho mum to go overseas with him...freedom for me!!!!!!! yippeeee!!!!!!!

2005-11-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

watched the sixth sense on tv. dunno watched it how many times already, but i still love it and it made me cry again. haley joel osment is fabulous. absolutely love that kid's acting.

and as i was watching, i was thinking, what fantastic plot it was. but i realise that, no matter how great the script, it still depends on how the show is directed and how the cast bring out the essence of the film. this movie was directed by m. night shymalayan (think this is how it's spelled). i like the way the show unravels so smoothly. and the twists and turns of the film had great effect.

jus recd news that sim's gonna stage the play blatant claps in jan. the play staged by sim film and performing arts society. there are 3 stories and i wrote one of them. the other 2 are written by jocelyn and jasmine, directed by benny lim, direcot of funstage. i think it'll be staged at ngee ann audi. can't believe this is really happening. and i tot it'll never happen or it'll jus be staged in school as some small gig. hopefully it'll all turn out well.

2005-11-23T21:37:00.000+08:00

You are Yuna!
You scored 12 good or evil, 7 spirituality, -2 power, and 12 intelligence!

Undeniably innocent and intelligent with the slightest - almost invisible - hint of corruption, Yuna, the daughter of High Summoner Braska draws on strong beliefs, her quiet wisdom and the wealth of friendships around her to strike out and defend Spira from Sin. Physical strength is perhaps her only real disability, but she makes up for it with a strong connection to the metaphysical through her deep faith. Throughout FFX, Yuna is faced with a constant stream of tragedy, but she never loses hope - always moving forward with her faith in her heart. Even when that faith proved false, she kept on and fought to find something else to believe in, determined not to give in to Sin's whims. Finally finding a way to defeat Sin's cycle of torment, Yuna again faced tragedy as she faced the loss of her love. Ever determined and hopeful, she kept going on until finally recapturing what she was denied for her sacrifices. Aligned with good, faithful and intelligent, if a bit weak, you are probably a very determined person with a strong belief in something - whether it be God or Starbucks Coffee is up to you. Chances are if you have that much determination coupled with keen knowledge, you'll get far in the world. Just try not to dwell too much on what you might be lacking strength-wise, and you should do well. Similar Characters include Rinoa(ff8), Relm(ff6), Ramza(fft) Your Polar opposite is Kefka. You can probably get along with Bahamut, and you may be able to tolerate Sephiroth or Delita.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

get well soon

2005-11-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

woke up today from azlina's msg, reading that she knocked her head a few days ago and since then she's having problems remembering people. and so she would like me to send her a photo of me and how we know each other. i tot she was kidding and so i ignored her. until our fren called, who have conversed with az, saying that girl really have knocked her head cos she fainted.

and the worse thing is, her parents didn't bother to bring az to the doc!!!! what were they thinking? dun they bother about the health of their child?!?!?!?!?

she was with her ex, he didn't even bother to bring her to the doc immediately!!!!!! gosh!!!!

i know she's upset about her current breakup. and i also know she dun seem to be eating. wonder whether she fainted due to that.

which makes me wonder, the things that people do when they are upset over relationships, when they get jealous...pretty frightening. whether it's hurting themselves or hurting those involved. and not forgetting, those who care for them, they are the innocent ones who get hurt as well.

isn't love a frightening thing? such a powerful force.

what will i do when i fall in love? how much can i sacrifice for a loved one? what will i do to myself for love. or for the lack of it? i have no idea. maybe only when things happen, will i know. for now. i shall continue to bask in the joy of being loved for as long as it lasts.

which reminds me about the story of meepok man by david khoo. the man selling meepok in the movie kept the body of the prostitute, even when it decomposed to blue cheese (that was the colour of the decomposed hand in the movie) he still went to hug and kiss it. insane. but there are many other zany stories in this world, that people do for love, out of love.

az, you are still young, you've got a long way to go. pleas, do not hurt yourself for someone who's not worthy of your love.

2005-11-19T13:44:00.000+08:00

i don't really know what to put in this entry. i've been stuck on this empty page for a good many many hours. how many times have you been stuck like this?

it's not that i do not know what to type, i've got plenty to say, plenty to shout out, but somehow, i can't bear to fill this page. consequences? i can only imagine.

maybe it isn't that bad, maybe nothing will happen at all. but i can't be so selfish, i want to cover it as much and as long as i can. this is the least i can do.

but is hiding it being mean as well? i do not know. it's evidently a dilemma, i guess i prefer escaping. not doing anything, if things sould happen, it happens and not because i caused it to...oh no, that sounds like i'm shirking responsibility, i'm being selfish!

now what? and so i'm happy, i'm rather, i think, contented. but why do i still feel this prick? this bad feeling deep down? am i supposed to feel this way? should i? afterall, i can't control the event of things. it's nobody's fault! it's...fate! cause and effect, things happen for a reason...and i can't be blamed for how things turn out!

but, i am partially to be blamed. for the things i've said, for the things i've done. for my own selfishness, i am now being punished. i do believe in karma, maybe that's why i'm feeling bad now.

i willingly suffer. for what i've done.

2005-11-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

latha's b'day today! happy b'day girl! and you are gorgeous!!!!

met up with az, wendy, jy and ernie....not much to talk about liao...cos all mugging for exams. gotta go home early....sigh...what will it be like when we work?
will we still keep in contact????

anyway went for a drink with wendy and az...as usual, loads of nonsense and crap...deeeeeeeep conversations....kekeke....
made me realise that no matter how busy, lonely, tired we are...everybody needs a friend now and then. i'm in another phase of my life and i'm glad i have them to share it with.

thank you very much my dear friends. i love you all (^_^)

2005-11-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

***Your Inner Child Is Surprised***
You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.
How Is Your Inner Child?http://blogthings.com/howisyourinnerchildquiz/

2005-11-07T00:03:00.000+08:00

washing ah liang's car. after one trip back from jb, the car was full of bird shit!!! twice, park at the same lot under the tree, kena bombarded with bird shit!!! but after that, he'll always win when playing mj....lol
in gree is ah liang, in dark blue, cheng. and the one standing away not doing any work is cheeyen (aka. fat nerd) kekeke

2005-11-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

eating watermelon with a spoon!!!!! how faggot can he get!!!!

2005-11-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

my dear old cous at her 21st b'day!!!!!! absolutely love u!!! muackz =)

2005-11-06T23:57:00.001+08:00

unique. but a bit too sweet. deset in a saucer

2005-11-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

quite a nice desert at hotel rendevous

2005-11-06T23:56:00.001+08:00

oh, this is a super gooey pudding at menotti. super duper delicious!!!!

2005-11-06T23:56:00.000+08:00

ban n janice. also frens from OI. at bar 84, b4 the magic show...

2005-11-06T23:55:00.001+08:00

julius n charissa. my 1st 3 mths frens from OI. at bar 84

2005-11-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

evan!!!!!! one of my best frens from aj. love this shot of her =) so artisitc!

2005-11-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

irene, jason with half a face n sam. queuing outside dbl o. waitin for so long! this is the nicest shot after 4 or 5 attempts. haha

2005-11-06T23:52:00.000+08:00

jason n irene! outside newsroom bar on a wed night!!

dbl O

2005-11-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

suppose to go zouk with a bunch of friends but as it always turns out there'll be last min changes and back outs. didn't want to go out after most of my friends backed out, plus it started drizzling at about 9 plus. but still went down to dbl O with irene and jason. and boy did i have fun!! it was sheer unadulterated fun!!!!! so much so that it was a teeny weeny bit sinful.....kekeke....

it's sooooo amazing!! there was already a queue when i got there at bout 10 plus. but the queue got worse when i came out for a breather at bout 11 plus. MS and that whole strectch of road was full of night animals. the crowd and the music was really good, no regrets going =)
but feel sorry for jason's baby subaru, his front bumper is too low and got bruised very badly when he went thru my area's multi storey carpark....ouch!!!! =(

so anyway it was free entry and free flow drinks for the gals. guys had 2 pay 30 bucks for cover! but there was evidently alot of guys last night. a good mix of both sexes i'd say. this says something doesn't it??? i'm not sure what....lol...

and yes me and irene had a great time! so much so that we conveniently forgot about jason....ooopppsss.....this is bad. really really bad. cannot let it happen again. we shall be nice.
we'll go on our own in future....muahahahahaahah.... =)